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Guide offers wit and wisdom for first-time dads

By Lylah M. Alphonse, Globe Staff | June 1, 2006

Pop Culture: The Sane Man’s Guide to the Insane World of New Fatherhood , By Christopher Healy, Penguin, 264 pp., $14

There seems to be an endless supply of reference books available for women who are searching for witty, easy-to-understand, up-to-date information about pregnancy and motherhood. But where is a first-time father supposed to turn?

Christopher Healy has an answer. ``Pop Culture: The Sane Man's Guide to the Insane World of New Fatherhood" delivers sound advice with a clear, hip, humorous attitude. For simplicity's sake, the book is written as though the reader is a part of a traditional, married, heterosexual couple, but the author is quick to point out in his introduction that this is a book for all dads, including ``single dads, divorced dads, gay dads, cohabitating but unmarried dads, nonbiological dads, or any combination of the above." That said, it's a great book for new moms to read, too, because it gives them a chance to see things from their partner's perspective. Besides, most new parents, regardless of gender, often need a little help navigating the rough terrain of baby- and toddler-hood.

This book deals as much with the idea of being a parent as it does the dirty, day-to-day details. The first 70 or so pages are dedicated to what goes on before the baby arrives -- pregnancy, labor , and delivery -- and the issues that a soon-to-be father may face during those times. Healy keeps things light, offering, among other things, a handy list identifying the types of people one is likely to meet when sharing pregnancy news. (He divides them into five categories, including ``Platitude Spewers" and ``Head Shakers," describing each type and the threat it poses to your sanity.)

Healy's writing style is entertaining and refreshingly blunt. ``When it comes to in utero education, there are two distinct schools of thought," he writes. ``The first being that the intricate composition of classical music will stimulate growth in the spatial-learning centers of your baby's brain, the second being that the first is a load of crap." He answers questions that many new parents, but especially fathers, have but are afraid to ask: What do I do when my kid has a play date? (Parents are expected to stay for the whole thing.) Can't I just drop my child off at her friend's birthday party, like our parents did when we were kids? (Nope.) What do I do when people think I'm incompetent just because I'm male? (There are several options, but ignoring them helps.)

The book can be a little simplistic at times, and the quips sprinkled throughout are more amusing if you read the book in short bursts -- which, really, is how books like this are supposed to be read. It's a quick read, too, which is good, since new parents don't have a lot of free time.

It's packed with survival tips, road rules, and tales from the trenches. It's also a reference tool with plenty of information on everything from what not to wear (expensive shirts + spit-up = not a good look) to a who's who in the world of children's music to how to cope with mind-numbing kids' television programs and noisy toys. Healy also manages to touch on a few hot-button topics (TV or no TV? Work full time or stay home with the kids?) without choosing sides, carefully illustrating the pros and cons of each.

Best of all, ``Pop Culture" is peppered with advice and anecdotes from real-life fathers that prove to a nervous new dad that he's not alone. ``One dad told me about a time he was walking down the street singing the `Elmo's World' theme when he walked past another man in a business suit," Healy writes. ``The other guy joined in with him." And it offers words of wisdom for mothers, extended relatives, and non-parents alike: ``Don't ever ask a father if he's babysitting. That's the worst thing you can say to a dad."
©Copyright 2006 The New York Times Company

By Tracy Farnsworth

What a riot! I may not be a father, but as a mom I can understand and appreciate every morsel of parenting wisdom shared by author Christopher Healy. POP CULTURE is not your average Dr. Spock guide. In fact, POP CULTURE is the kick in the butt that many present-day dads need.

Today's parenting isn't about the man heading off to work while the woman stays home and does everything else. In today's world, the man kicks in, often staying home with the baby himself while his wife heads off to the office. POP CULTURE looks at the role of a present day father, the ups and downs, joys and sorrows.

"You will be tired: Newborns can sleep sixteen to twenty hours a day, yet somehow manage to keep you from getting more than three or four hours." This simple statement raised the author to hero status in my eyes. I never knew what tired was until I had a baby!

Father's Day is about a month away. Do the man in your life a favor and bring some laughter to his day! POP CULTURE is hilarious.